July 25, 2004

Dear Whining Bitching Republicans

To those faithful, clubhouse GOPers (Know Demmycratz alloud! Lolz!) stop being such arrogant little punks. If you bastards would quit being condescending pukes and conservative tools then maybe you wouldn't get your asses spoiled. Bitches.

Nobody owes you a vote. I don't owe your goddamned party anything. I fucking hate being obligated to vote for a party. No, I DON'T think the Republican Party is the only good party, the party to save America.

Have any of you sane people ever met these clubhouse Republicans? They think that everybody smart and good is on their side and that being good and patrotic and intelligent means you're on their side. I've met more than my share of Democrats like this as well (even worse because those goddamned communists are supposed to open-minded; hah!) but it's aggravating as hell because Republicans almost to the man have this mind-set that their party is a wonderful place to be, the only right party to join, and a big family or support group for everyone. This lockstep clubhouse fraternal loyalty means they're completely AGHAST at why anybody might want to rebel and vote against them, and they certainly hate libertarians because we challenge their basic ideology.

The far-righties like Buchanan and Peroutka and Phillips and the Constitution Party are both too under-reported and too misunderstood to get much attention. When they do get GOP attention, they're usually just considered wayward conservatives, holding the same values just more extreme in every regard. That's not quite true, since the Constitution Party is extremely paleoconservative and the GOP is much more center-oriented, but it passes for truth.

The Libertarians, though, are an enigma to many Republicans. They figure we're just Republicans who want to smoke pot, but they like that we hate taxes and they think we should just vote for them. Libertarians provide a consistent challenge to the GOP on both economic issues and social issues. We also at times give the left a way to criticize the GOP (Democrat: "Why can't you be socially libertarian, too?! ... even though I can't be bothered to be economically libertarian so I should shut up.") And the GOP recognizes these distinctions and is uneasy with them. But hey, they think to themselves, Ron Paul is kinda cool and it would be nice to have huge tax cuts and pot.

When the subject of voting for a Libertarian against a Republican comes up, the somewhat tender alliance turns into flashing rivalry. The spurned GOPers, more spiteful than a thousand female stereotypes, at first react in anger or confusion. "How could you let THE DEMOCRAT win?!?!" they cry out to everyone and noone. Nothing is worse to a Republican than a Democrat (except for Zell Miller types).

It is incomprehensible to them why one might vote for a Libertarian and this allow a Democrat into office. They exist in opposition to the Democrats, therefore to them Democrats are the worst thing in office. The fact that they exist to oppose Democrats is also the source of many horrible GOP policies.

Even if they can't understand why, they have to stop dismissing it. They dismiss the possibility of a libertarian spoiling a Republican as pipe dreams, like Canada beating America in a war, or France beating anybody in uhh well, anything. This is just bravado, the Republicans should realize their extreme vulnerability to libertarian spoilers.

In 2002 alone:

Thune would be the junior Senator from South Dakota if not for his libertarian spoiler opponent. McCallum would be Governor of Wisconsin if not for Ed Thompson. Bebout might be Governor of Wyoming if not for Dawson. Mannix might be Governor of Oregon if not for Cox. Largent might be Governor of Oklahoma if not for Richardson (note, Richardson was anti-tax but not running with the LP formally). Salmon might have become Governor of Arizona if not for Hess.

Spoilers happen, and libertarian/Libertarian spoilers ruin GOP candidates all the time.

If the GOP can't drop the clubhouse mentality, the least they can do is realize that not everybody loves the GOP unconditionally. Libertarians will vote against it because they're not Republicans.

The GOP mainstream needs to realize the distinction, stop condescending, and get off their asses to make a party that deserves libertarian votes.


Blogger peter said...

I hear you on the "clubhouse" Republicans. I call them "country club" Republicans, but I think we're essentially talking about the same thing. In theory, they *are* different from the Christian Nutjob Republicans, but it's difficult to distinguish between them *in practice*. I say nuts to both kinds...

July 25, 2004 10:32 AM  
Blogger senatortombstone said...

In the case of Thune's 2002 defeat: Tom Daschele and his wife went to an Indiand reservation in SD that had a very low voter turn-out. Daschele and his wife bought a bunch of winter coats and blankets for the Indians and a good chunk of them went out and voted for the deomcratic candidate.

Oh well, look at Thune's second attempt at the senate seat and look how he defeated Daschele, a senate leader. This the first time in over 50 years that a sitting leader has been ousted. So I am glad Thune lost in 2002 because he made history in 2004!

December 23, 2004 11:32 AM  

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